This is ME

I am back! it is really been a while since my last post during February. You may wonder why i am not active on blogging or i just simply too busy?
Well, i been almost totally lost during this long semester, things just happened like that, bad result and other feeling have driven me crazy yet i don't dare to share my feelings in here even maybe there is no reader of my blog. i am kinda person who always keep secret in my heart rather tell someone else, not even with my friends. Perhaps, you all not even sincerely interest to listen my story. Please forgive me. i need some space for my own, this is the best solution.

This long semester i have make gaps between us, make myself like really not to be needed or be notice. All i done is just buy myself some air to breath. I had getting tired to be the one i really not. These year i try to keep my self active in socialization and make many good friend as possible.In order to do so, this fact have become the power for me to intend to pursuit my bachelor of marketing with a better result. That time i was really gave myself the greatest pressure ever and with a sea of responsibility.

Since i was in secondary school, i barely found myself really not so interest to face those alphabet and numbers. However to keep myself far from those people( gangsters and those useless trashs), i forced myself. I told myself, this just a piece a cake, you can make it! come on! And thank God i only manage to pass, barely.

STPM is the one of the biggest disappointment during my school days. I started to suspect that i might really not suit to keep study as a student any more. My parents are all not high educated, so although they give their best to help me out but it was ever enough. As a eldest son in family, their really make a lot of hope on me, this i never blame them, because i and their son, and most importantly, i love them more than everything.

So, since i was young i tried to play a role model to my younger sister and brothers But it does not stay for long. For them, friendship and lover more important than family. Yeah terrible isn't it? the influence of friend and puppy love for them is almost everything. Franky i don't blame them, after all they are my sister and brother.

Once ago, my sister asked me why don't i try get a girlfriend and by that time i will have same thought as they do. Well, i was intend to, she is really a nice girl and she really give me a short but sweetest memory i never have. Most of the time i thinking of her, wonder her thought and keep her not to feel bored with me. But i realized this would not stay for long. We are still too young and she might not even notice she is not really love me after all. Therefore i choose to just be friend and even the friendship not even stay for long since that. Yeah, is my fault.

You may ask will i regret to do so? Well my answer is : i would do the same thing even there is a time machine for me. But i sure will miss that moment and the feelings. Nothing much because it is a part of my memory.

I think i am the worse guy in this world, this could be the best explanation of my current status. Not because of royalty, but for responsibility. My result in this semester really not good; but i not yet give up! For the Love.

-this is me-